Teacher's Diary

Remembering to Enjoy Science

Looking on the bright side has been helping me focus on positivity instead of negativity. My outlook on teaching is still good - by keeping the positive in mind, I know that I still enjoy teaching and especially hands-on science. That is what the learning is all about.

While I'm still getting annoyed with my students for not being respectful or caring about my carefully planned lessons, I'm also trying to remind myself to enjoy the ride, so to speak. I became a science teacher because I love science. Through the first half of this year, I seem to have forgotten that. I need to take a step back and actually enjoy these lessons. I know for a fact that the more into them I get, the more into them the students will get. I don't want to become one of those teachers who is bitter and has a sour face every day - but that's what I have been like for the past few months. I want to be known as the crazy, fun science teacher!

It's going to take effort, but I have to remember that my students are not meant to be my friends. It doesn't matter if I make a fool of myself in front of them.

Welcome to 2012

As my regular readers have no doubt noticed, my posting has been extremely sparse lately. Time to come clean.

I had a very rough first semester. It was far harder than I thought it would be adjusting to a new school environment where the administration and other teachers didn't recognize my talents. The school is larger than my previous school, so I feel that I haven't stood out or gotten the attention of the administration in any way and that has been frustrating. But mostly, my bad first semester was a result of my negative attitude.

When I switched schools, I came at just the wrong time, right as an administrative change was taking place. As a result, the people who hired me told me one thing, when the reality come September was something else. Rather than teaching 2 Earth Science classes, as I had been told, I was teaching only one 32-student class and two biology classes (which I had never taught before). I felt betrayed and angry and as a result, my planning and engagement with my students suffered. I blamed behavior issues for all of my problems, instead of recognizing ways that I could improve. I'm not proud of how I acted, but at least now I've had time to sit down and think about concrete ways to improve.

I think every teacher will go through something like this at some point in their career. We are caring individuals and it hurts us when we feel that our talents are being wasted. There comes a time when idealism isn't enough to stop us from getting angry at situations we have no control over - the bureaucracy, the bad decisions of others, the difficult home lives. There is so much outside the classroom that affects our work that it can be overwhelming and disheartening to think about.

I took time over the winter break to step back and what I missed most was my passion for teaching and the great feeling I would get when something did go right. I realized that I had been focusing too much on things I couldn't change and dwelling on all the negatives, often overlooking the positive. So I made a New Year's resolution to record in writing one good thing about each school day. I did it every day this week and I already feel better. Despite all the difficulties, there are still good things happening and THAT is what matters most. I hope to post the best things here on this blog (and I'll still write about difficulties now and then). This year, you should be hearing from me more!

Staying Afloat

Any reader of this blog will have noticed the distinct absence of posts for the past couple of months. That's because your resident teacher now works at a charter school and - much as you might imagine - she is being worked to the bone. Sometimes in a good way and other times not. However, it's time to break the silence and let you all know what it has been like starting my new job as a charter school teacher.

As you may remember, I was unhappy with the lack of strong leadership and positive work environment at my previous school. I was also tired of feeling like I was the only one truly committed to making a difference. I figured - and rightly so - that teachers at a charter school would be more like me, tirelessly dedicated to improving the school and giving kids the best education possible. I was right about that. I feel like I can barely make my presence known, since every teacher at my new school is constantly starting student clubs or suggesting ways to improve the school. It is both a relief and a new challenge to try to make my own impact on the school culture.

I also hoped that a charter school or at least this one in particular would have a more supportive administration. Unfortunately, that was not exactly the case. First of all, soon after I told my old school I was leaving, that principal was fired and a new one with more experience was hired. From talking to my old colleagues, it sounds like things have been improving there. Meanwhile, the charter school I now work at also went through a change in administration over the summer and the new principal is still getting used to running the school. She is not the best communicator and is obviously drowning in work on top of that, making it difficult to get in touch with her or find out what is going on. I have been constantly stressed by the fact that we don't find out about changes or deadlines until about 24 hours before things need to happen.

On top of the administrative disorganization, the students are very resistant to forming relationships with new teachers. Because the school staffs many TFA teachers, there is a high rate of turnover and the kids are understandably wary of new teachers. It has been a struggle for me to work hard at building positive relationships after leaving a school where I knew every student and was extremely close to many of them. The students at my new school have been mean and difficult, but things are starting to take a turn for the better. I'm getting more used to the new systems and am able to plan more engaging lessons and make time outside of class to work on creating bonds with students.

It has been a long first quarter and I am looking forward to relaxing over Thanksgiving break. Hopefully I'll be better about posting as well!

The First Week and a Half

The lack of posts lately is testament to the fact that work has officially begun for me. Yes, charter schools start incredibly early. We don't have any kids yet, but rather there is extensive professional development and orientation for teachers prior to the actual start of the term. This is very good for me because I am going to be teaching a class that is brand new to me - Living Environment (Biology for non-New Yorkers) - in addition to one Earth Science class.

At first I was bummed to be teaching bio rather than more Earth Science, but my anger over that has died down enough for me to begin looking forward to a new challenge. Today I finally started to feel my feet touching down on some solid ground. We new teachers were given an overview of expectations and rules and consequences, good basic stuff that makes me feel more comfortable working in a new place where I definitely don't know all the procedures.

Am I happy overall to have made the leap? Yes.

Last week, the principal of my old school resigned and a replacement has not yet been named. The situation there is unlikely to get much better for at least the first year, plus students are going to feel that they caused the principal to leave, which will only make them more defiant. While I will miss "my kids" and the co-workers I had truly bonded with over the past to years, I don't think I will regret my decision in the long run.

I can see that I have a long and challenging year ahead of me, but I am ready to be in a more supportive environment and really get to work on becoming the best teacher I can be. Hopefully I'm well on my way!

My Big Decision

I have mentioned several times throughout the history of this blog a certain unhappiness with the school at which I am currently teaching. Back in the spring, I had a big decision to make, as I got a job offer at an after school program, where I would have been working with a similar population of students, but in a much different capacity. I turned that job down because I felt I wasn't ready to leave teaching just yet. And as much as I was beginning to dislike the climate at my school, I decided to stick it out for a third year - mostly because I didn't have the time or energy to search for another school, which could easily be just as bad or worse than my current one.

Then everything changed.

The end of the year was a series of negative events for me. The school hired a new AP who was rude and literally badmouthed me to other teachers, even though the parents and students of the school voted me Outstanding Teacher of the Year. I felt that my ideas were consistently ignored and that the school was taking a turn for the worst. Next year, the school will have its first graduation ceremony and it seems about 15 students will walk the stage unless something drastic is done. But the administration seems stalled.

At the same time as all this was happening, I got a message about a job opening for an Earth Science teacher at a fairly well-known charter school. I looked into the school and it seemed like a dream job. Not only has the school been around for almost twice as long as most charter schools, it takes its mission of college for all students very seriously, requiring every student to be admitted to at least one college before they can graduate from high school! The school has music, art and drama - classes I had found sorely lacking at my current school - and the classes are capped at 24 students.

I couldn't resist applying, but though it unlikely that I would get the job. I was wrong. After an intense interview process, I was offered the position. The previous Earth Science teacher was leaving to become the head of the science department at another charter school and the other science teachers I met were high-energy and dedicated.

There were some negatives. The work day and year are both longer than a typical public school (which is a positive for the students). The commute is slightly longer, the pay slightly lower and I would no longer be part of the union - but I had grown tired of the union's antics at my school anyway. Overall, the positives far outweighed the negatives.

I accepted the job.

I'm excited and nervous to be moving on. I will be the 'new' teacher again, despite having two years under my belt. At the same time, I think this school is going to be a great place for me to grow as a teacher and experience success. The community feel is great and parents are involved on every level of the school. The students I have met so far are polite and studious, though I'm sure they won't all be like that. Still, I am hopeful that a new, happier page in my teaching career is starting.