As a first-year teacher on the eve of that long-awaited day, I can't help feeling anxious. I've told myself time and again that everything will be fine, but I still have a feeling I won't be sleeping much tonight. Here are the top 3 reasons why:
1. Everyone, I mean everyone, says the first day determines the first year.
From my grad school professors, to veteran teachers, to Frank McCourt in his book "Teacher Man," everyone has drilled this one simple message into my head. This means that for me to have the perfect year (like that exists), I have to have the perfect first day. I have to pick out the perfect outfit, get to school early, have a great lesson planned and get the attention of 100 tenth graders within the first few minutes of class. No pressure, right?
2. I'm not prepared.
Well, how could I be? My classroom is still a shambles, though starting to look slightly better. My bookshelves are full of empty binders instead of books, the textbooks I ordered are being held in the main office due to some necessary "checking procedure" and my lesson plan for tomorrow is done but the handouts have yet to materialize. Plus I have to make copies of them in the morning. I have only planned through the middle of next week, so lesson planning should be my top priority...but then, there's still the room to take care of. I know what you're thinking. I should have gone in early to set it up. Please proceed to point 3.
3. I have discovered the school bureaucracy.
I have never worked in a school environment, so all the red tape and lack of coherence is still a shock to me. I spent several days wading through union pamphlets and filling out forms to get my health benefits. Luckily, my school is small, so the teachers copy their own papers, rather than waiting for a secretary to do it, but there is still difficulty getting things done. Painting, for example. My classroom is one of several due to be painted this past summer. Of course, it didn't get done, so when I went in two weeks ago to decorate my classroom, I was told not to hang anything up because they would be painting my room in the next couple of days. "They" apparently lost the work order, because when I walked in today, the last day before the little monsters arrive, the room was still the same sickly green. So, I decided to hang up my posters, since they couldn't possibly paint overnight. I spent the afternoon taking down what I had hung up - apparently someone filed a new work order...
Anyway, I had better get back to my real work, but hopefully putting my anxiety down in type will reduce it somewhat. Or I may have a sleepless night to look forward to. Either way, wish me luck!
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